Friends 2

Friendship is a mystery to me. It is constantly evolving and in today’s social media world it is totally changing.

For the longest, longest time I completely resisted Facebook and any such connection points. My argument was that if I know something about you, it will be because you had made the time to tell me, to include me in your life. And that I had made the time to meet with you, listen to you and give you my exclusive attention.

When I published The Gauguin Connection, I realised that I would have to connect to the world out there via social networking sites – hence this blog. Still I resist using FB for personal use – I really, really, really want to connect to my best friend through an email, a phone call, an sms or Skype (she lives in a different country). I don’t want to learn about her kids’ cuteness through an impersonal ‘international’ announcement on FB. Am I just being weird? Or the gods forbid, old!?!?

Last weekend I visited a very, very dear friend of mine and loved every minute of it! We were pretty much housebound for the weekend (small baby + bad weather = long chats around the table). It was fabulous! We solved the world’s problems, talked about everyone and everything and coo’ed at the baby. It is in that personal contact that I am overwhelmed by the depth of her friendship and the amazing support that I receive.

But… in the months since the publication of The Gauguin Connection, I’ve actually come to enjoy all these different social media connection points. First I should say that at times I really find the influx of info overwhelming. There are so many places now that I have to click on and check!! The fun thing has been the interesting and new people I’ve met and been in contact with. Those would include a few fans (I feel sooooo famous!!!*:D big grin) and I think that has been the coolest. Connecting with other writers has made me feel less isolated in this strange creative world I live in. I’m learning that it’s not only bad. But I truly, seriously, really, absolutely, totally prefer a two sentence email/sms addressed to me. Or a 3 minute phone call.

Do you feel the same? Or do you prefer connecting via social media?

photo credit

4 thoughts on “Be my FRIEND!

  1. I totally feel the same about social media, and my generation’s supposed to be all about it! Then again, I’m someone who isn’t even much of a fan of phone calls. When I connect with other people I like to do it in person, where there’s time to sit down and chat and focus on being social just for the sake of being social. I’ve made a few good online friends, but a lot of the social media business feels a lot like work and marketing rather than genuine socialising. It’s definitely tricky to get comfortable with it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I also strongly dislike phone calls, Claudia. I much prefer it to FB though, but my first preference is like yours – sit down with a friend and chat. I think it is important (for me!) to find the balance between all these different methods of communication. I’m trying!!!! I was scared that my FB page and this blog would become work and marketing rather than something I enjoy. It still is an effort for me to sit down and post, but I’m determined to keep it about things I’m interested in. Maybe that way it will remain fun and (hopefully) will be enjoyed. Are you managing to get comfortable with it? How??


      1. It’s easier to post on blogs and forums for me. I feel like I can take the time to say something worth saying, whereas I’ve never been too big a fan of the small talk that twitter offers. Maybe I should get into facebook more, but then I’d have to keep updating that as well!
        My plan is mostly to work on my blog. It feels nice and cosy and personal for me, and once I get involved with forum communities it can often be a nice distraction to post there too. 🙂


  2. just exploring your blog pages for the first time, though you know I’ve been a fan for ages!

    I’m a social media / text / email gal, I do NOT like the phone, but I DO prefer in person conversations . . . I just find the phone muddles my brain, but communicating in writing allows me to set out my thoughts clearly . . . and of course nothing replaces the in person “human” feeling of a face to face conversation when it’s possible . . .

    keep writing Estelle, as a friend said just yesterday: the problem with having a favourite author is the wait between books . . . *laughing*

    much love from Canada . . .


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