Lies!!! It’s all LIES!!!

How honest are you? Do you always tell the truth?

Of course not!! The question really is not if you lie, but rather how often. I would most definitely not be telling the truth if I declared myself to be a totally honest person. Of course I lie. We all do. Lies are what polite society is built on. If a potential client at a negotiation meeting asks you “How are you?”, do you really want to tell him that you just walked in on your live-in partner doing the dirty with your best friend? Nope, we lie. We say, “Fine, thank you,” and we even put on a sunshine voice for that.

I love statistics!!! Maybe as much as I love politics and politicians. They all lie as well. Research and the subsequent statistics can be interpreted in so many fun and interesting ways – perfect for manipulation to fit our opinions. For this exercise I will freely quote the interesting statistics and factoids I’ve come across in my research:

Apparently men lie twice as much as women. Oh… what a wonderful topic, but I shall not digress. The most common lie for both sexes is: “I’m fine, there’s nothing wrong.” When is the last time you’ve used this one? Honestly, I can’t remember. I would usually say that I’m having a strange day and change the topic.

Other favourite lies for men: “I didn’t have a signal”, “I’m on my way”, “I’m stuck in traffic”.
Other favourite lies for women: “It wasn’t that expensive”, “I don’t know where it is”, “No, I didn’t throw it away”.

Laughing yet? Well, I am smiling while I’m writing this. It reveals so much about our gender differences and also about human nature. Not only do we lie often, but we also are quite gullible in believing other’s lies. It might be because we trust that person or maybe you don’t really care enough about the shop assistant’s opinion of how the dress looks on you.

Whichever way, during my research in preparation for Genevieve’s expertise, I realised that picking up on deception is not as straightforward as books, articles or ‘Lie to Me’ made it out to be. In my next post I will list the nonverbal cues that the experts give us to look for when people are lying. Not even Genevieve (the top world expert, of course!) would be brazen enough to say that she knows exactly if someone is lying. Too many factors come into play and the context is sometimes as important as the words and non-verbal cues.

So… how honest are you? If your friend asks for your opinion, do you give an honest opinion? Do you sugar coat it? Do you lie to protect people’s feelings? Or are you a selfish liar? Are you brutally honest or diplomatically honest? Are you a good liar? A terrible liar? A frequent liar? Should I be careful when I play poker with you?


2 thoughts on “Lies!!! It’s all LIES!!!

  1. I think of this difficulty in two regards: first, we will more eaily lie to others the more we lie to ourselves. Those lies can be about ourself, our relationships, our expectations. I’ve found the more comfortable one is with themselves truly, the more authentic they will be with others. Second, I think there are confusions about being “frank” and being “honest”. We can speak frankly, as abrupt or blunt and call it “telling it like it is” — and yet only be speaking what we think or feel at the moment. Such frankness is not honest, but it is a good barometer for those who know you about how you view yourself and reality. In that way Marshall McCluhan is correct, The medium IS the message.

    IMHO. I really like the book I’ve read so far, and shall look for the others. I was delighted to have read and recommend The Gauguin Connection.


    1. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Gralan. ‘The medium IS the message’ is definitely food for thought. If we disregard lies of facts, but focus on ‘lies’ of experience or emotion, we enter quite a grey area, right? It reminds me of the story of the two blind men who were taken to an elephant. One we placed in front of the elephant, the other at the back. They were told to ‘see’ the elephant with their hands and then explain what they had ‘seen’. Needless to say, their opinions differed greatly. Both were calling the other a liar, but… both were telling the truth.
      When I’d first heard that story, many years ago, it affected me so deeply that I’m still very careful to call anyone a liar. In their minds they might be telling the truth.

      I’m thrilled that you’re enjoying The Gauguin Connection! Your comment is a fantastic Christmas gift for me. Thanks!

      Liked by 1 person

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